You just made me feel so damn special
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
