Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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