She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize