is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
