hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
