OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
