its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
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I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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