Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
