those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Are these your boobs on my camera?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
