I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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