Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I wish i was in the wii world.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize