even my farts smell like vagina
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
