I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
