I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
