What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
