Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
