i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
