My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
