3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
