she looked like the before picture.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
