No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
