It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
