508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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