Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
