toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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