Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
