I cockslap morals
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
two words: eviction party
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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