I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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