dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
