Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
