and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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