so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
