He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
