Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
