I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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