After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
