its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
