You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
