drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
