absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize