I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
