you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
