If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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