Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
