It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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