i barfeds in our rink
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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