think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
