It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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