I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
