sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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