Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Slut skills are useful in every country.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
