He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
