big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
