You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
