im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
