You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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