She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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