The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I love having hate sex.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
