I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
