Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Randomize
